A whole other world.

I decided to do something crazy. Something weird and extremely nerdy these past couple of months. Not to mention secretly. I was surprised at how I didn't tell anybody about this since I have such a blabber mouth.

I don't remember where I heard this from but I heard it a long time ago. People roleplaying on myspace. I was confused because when I heard of roleplaying before it was LARPING or video games but never imagined it'd be on myspace. People imitate characters and interact with characters from the same storyline/book/movies.

I thought it was interesting in a way because being an actor you become a character all the time. I also love to write. But I never thought about it again.

...Until a couple of months ago I was watching Harry Potter and I thought to myself "How cool would it be to attend Hogwarts?". I then remembered the whole silly idea of "myspace" roleplaying. So one boring afternoon I decided to scope it out. But before doing so I made goals for myself about what I wanted to get out of this experience.

1. I want to expand my horizons as a writer and I want to strengthen my ability to enter a character's mind and actions. That way when I write my stupid stories that I love so much I don't miss any aspect of a character so readers will really be able to relate with my characters when I write.
2. Relationships with other "writers". When it comes to acting and writing the majority of the actions and emotions play off of other actors/characters. I wanted to really be able to react fully to what the other person was saying.

I know this sounds completely nerdy. I am expecting people to make fun of me for it but I really don't care. Not really anyways.

On with the story.

So I decided to create a "Ginny Weasley" myspace account. God knows I am not intelligent enough to be Hermione so Ginny will have to do.

First thing I realized. There is A LOT of judging.

With the kind of profile you have. It has to look a certain way otherwise none of the literate writers will give you the time of day. I am horrible with HTML so I eventually made a friend who made a legit layout for me.

Other judging: What type of "roleplaying" you do.
Oneliners: You only write one liners. Which is pretty self explanatory. Not interesting at all. People hate roleplayers that do oneliners. Those are usually the ones who can't spell either.
Para: This is just a paragraph.
Multi-Para: Up to about 4-5 paragraphs
Novella: Which is 6 and beyond.

I decided I wanted to do Multi-Para/Novella.

So I had to search myspace friends for "my family" and I realized just how popular myspace roleplaying was. There about 1,000 pages for each character.


Edit: To be continued I guess.

the two seniors i hang out with the most are the first two people to leave.

i think i'm finally ready for a solid relationship.

it's about time.




i just need to keep trust in mind. that's what always gets me.


p.s. yeah...you aren't my type. not in a mean way. it just won't work out.

I knew I'd blog about this. [Cheers to the big guy up there.]

So. I'm not the most spiritual person in the world. I'm not that great of a Christian because I have so many doubts about the religion I follow. I don't believe some of the bible. (ask me about this in person if you want me to go into greater detail.)

But this week did help me with one thing, which is the most important thing I think.

On Sunday as I was driving up to camp I decided I wanted to get a journal where I could log each day about my current relationship with God. I envisioned myself every morning while at camp waking up and laying out on the lawn while looking at the lake. Which is what I did. I went into the store and found a journal that was titled, "Come with me by yourselves to some quiet place and rest". It reassured me that this was supposed to happen. It was weird. Almost everything I wrote in that journal (problems, doubts, etc.) was addressed in Chapel word for word. I started freaking out and would enthusiastically point to whoever was sitting next to me "Dude! Look! What he/she just said I wrote in my journal a couple of hours ago!"

For those of you who are reading this and who are curious I am going to write what I wrote in my journal this week. By the way...It went from analyzing our relationship to me just telling God random stuff about my day. You'll see what I mean.

Actually. I typed out everything I wrote in my journal realizing that I was doing exactly what I was trying to prevent myself from doing. I was writing it out because I myself wanted attention. Not because I cared about our relationship.

This week has made my relationship with God stronger. It's more of a friendship. I feel like I am able to write to him about anything. I spent most of my pages writing about ducks.

Don't start thinking that Christian camp has changed me. I'm still going to drink. I still don't believe things but for now my relationship with the big guy up there is solid and honestly that's all i need right now.

If you really want to see my journal ask me! It's pretty cool seeing how creepy it is that they addressed things I wrote in there word for word.

On one page I literally wrote, "Just help me out. What if that was the secret all along? Just to ask you?" I wrote this in Chapel because we all know I don't pay attention when Pastors talk for long. But then 15 minutes later Megan Fate addressed EVERYTHING I asked for help with.

Not gonna lie...It's pretty fucking cool.

life is better on the other side of the lens.

i miss it. i feel like i haven't been doing it as much as i wish i could. honestly. i have no reason. i've been busy. i'm going to start up project 365 again soon. once i know i can commit. i wish i could have done that summer photoshoots thing. i've just been...busy. busy. busy.

but now i can do it. i'm going to. it's what i love. i think i'll take classes soon. just so i can take a step closer.

i don't know what i'm doing.

I NEED TIME TO BREATHE!

ahhhhh.

whatever. once it's sunday. i'll be at camp. it'll be the best.

and then i get back.

NOTHING planned.

and then i leave for hawaii.


NOTHING planned.

WHY DO BOYS LIKE ME?

why am i suddenly getting attention from boys?




it's weird.



let's see how next week goes.