one last goodnight.

you abandoned me when i need you the most.
i need you because without you i don't think i can handle things.
you just...left. that was that.
now i am left to deal alone.

alone.

the one thing i fear above everything else.

i feel so lost.

lost.

it's not just you that has me feeling this way.
it's a multitude of things that you just added on to.

it won't be easy. i know that i will move on. but with you everything was easier. i felt like i could handle anything because if something went wrong i could always run to you and you'd be standing there with open arms.
i guess i was wrong.

i am a little mad. mostly hurt though.

maybe i changed but can you blame me?
i am still myself.
sure just a little more vulnerable.
and i would eventually snap out of it.
i just can't believe you weren't willing to wait for me.
to try and change things.

it will be weird trying to adjust to a life without you. the same life that i had gotten used to during these 6 months.

i don't hate you. i never will. i never could. you were my first high school love. which also means i will never forget you the same way you might forget me. you are a wonderful person. and i know you tried...it will just take me awhile to accept these changes.


(this is just the way i feel. doesn't make it true. and it's probably just more amplified because i am hurt.)