maybe i am not meant to be doing this.

it seems i have gotten the best luck with the last two shows. the two shows i wasn't even in.
the spring show last year- i met austin.
the fall show this year- i met dylan.

maybe if i wasn't in the show there would be a third guy?

maybe i am not meant to be doing this.

but then again both those boys ended up not working out to well.

and it seems i am making stronger friendship bonds with the people around me.

plus i have worked so hard to get here and it's what i've always wanted right?

don't tell me boys aren't a big deal and i shouldn't be examining this because whether we want to admit it or not we like boys. we like the attention they give us and we like the feeling. i do want somebody. don't we all?

but believe it or not i am not looking. i don't know if i need a relationship in my life.
it's just what i am saying.

hey. the show hasn't ended yet, hell it hasn't even started.

let's see what happens.

watch this all be a life lesson. i hope i get something big out of this.

p.s. i am sick of this negativity and how prude some people are. if you're going to be a bitch to me i am going to be a bitch right back. no one in this show is better than anyone else. stop letting it get to your heads. especially YOU.