I need a personal hard drive.

I am absolutely terrified of death. What scares me the most has nothing to do with the physical pain. It's the fact that our minds completely shut down instantly when we die. All of those memories, all of that knowledge, all of that hard work will in the end amount to nothing.

I wish I could hire Apple to create a personal hardrive just for my brain. That way when I die I will have everything in my brain backed up for someone else's benefit or just for resources (Let's be serious I would never curse somebody with my mind. That'd be cruel.)

I would like to believe in a heaven. After all there is nothing wrong with harmless belief. But now that I have been losing touch with my religion it's hard to find the reassurance in a heaven. Even if there is a heaven, I don't believe that our personal selves make it up there. Maybe our spirits do. But how is that reassuring? People make the mistake of grouping our personalities and our spirits together. Sure we may have individual spirits, but they don't have any resemblance to our human selves. They are our essences. Our core. So even if my spirit lives on Madison Swart will not. Madison Swart is apart of my spirit. My spirit is not apart of Madison Swart.

The only way I will ever be at peace with death is if I die feeling like I made a difference. Enough of a difference to be remembered. The only way we live on after we die is through our impacts on other people. Though it's not enough for me to just impact those close to me because after all they will eventually die as well.

No. I need to create something meaningful. I am a very selfish person. The only way I find happiness is by making other people happy.

Story Idea: Comedy. A man dies and finally gets to meet his spirit. His spirit is completely disappointed in what this man has amounted to.The spirit then shows this man who else he has been a spirit to in the past. A wide range of successful and different things. Perhaps a king, a philosopher, a lion, Martin Luther King Jr. etc

Questions to think about: How will it end? Do the spirit and the man part ways?

I am going to start creating story ideas from the big things that are floating around in my mind. That way, instead of useless babble, it might turn into something.