one flew over the cuckoo's nest

you know how in "one flew over the cuckoo's nest" bromden talks about a fog that's in his mind?
that is exactly what i feel.
i can't explain anything.

i always just feel numb. and tired. even though i still sleep the same.
i am just not myself.

i don't know when the last time i've taken a picture that wasn't for la vista was.
i usually write a new song everyday. i haven't in a week. which i know doesn't sound like a big deal. but it is.
i don't like going on driving adventures anymore.
i don't like anything.

i'm excited for two specific people to come home. which is the only thing i can think about that's making me excited.

i'm really scared. i'm going to see a therapist on monday. i'll let you know what it's like.

i'm trying. but it's really hard. i need to get better. it's controlling and ruining my life.

my parents don't understand. whenever i bring it up they go "oh i thought that was gone." or "oh i thought it as over?" and "oh that's still happening?"