Log 1 [Written on 5 hours of sleep during a 24 hour plane ride...]

log 1 or whatever.

i can't ignore the glares i get for being "that girl" on the airplane. supposedly it's like 2 in the morning L.A. time and everybody on the plane is basically sleeping but outside of the plane nothing can be more alive. i opened my window. yes...it's bright out. i am aware. but it's breath taking and relaxing and for the past 2 hours instead of watching tv like i have been and probably will be doing again on the next 11 hour flight i have been listening to my ipod and just looking out the window. there is frost along the rims of the window and for some odd reason i am completely drawn to it. i doubt half of the people surrounding me will even notice a small detail like that. sure it's small but i am completely and utterly intrigued. you don't even want to know how many pictures i have taken just of the ice forming on the window.

This picture looks all to much familiar. some originality please? i need an idea. anything. as i look out the window and drop my gaze down to the land that is beneath me i can't help but realize that there is something totally different and exciting down there. while i'm up here on this plane watching movie after movie people's lives are going on. it's hard to imagine because we as humans are always stuck in the moment. i mean half of this flight i have been moving restlessly, complaining and only thinking about one thing: how miserable this flight is. i'm selfish. i mean we all are. it's just what we do and don't even try to deny it. it's weird to think that people live differently than me. that there is a whole world outside manhattan beach, california just waiting to be experienced. i know what you're thinking--

you have been to south africa and you are on a flight right now going across seas. here's the honest truth...i take advantage of the experiences i am given. i usually try not to regret but the past adventures i have been on [England, Mexico, South Africa etc.) there has always been something limiting my experience whether i am too young or just too lazy and tired to get out of bed. it's always me against myself. over the summer i was going through the stereotypical "teenager" phase. i wish i was with my friends. i wish i was with my boyfriend. i wish. i wish. i wish. and this was all happening while I was in south africa. some people never even leave their town let alone their country! i'm not saying i don't deserve this trip. god knows after everything i've been through i do it's just this time i am going to try my hardest not to take advantage of it. i'm gonna live it up. who knows? this could be the last time i ever get to go somewhere like this. cheers to a new adventure.

i am writing this on lack of sleep right now. i don't feel tired but i doubt my mind is working correctly. please excuse the lack of structure and well...sense. i've just been thinking. my mind doesn't make sense and i am not in the mood to try and interpret it.