best----friends.

i don't have a best friend.

i've never had a best friend.
well i mean i've had best friends.
but they have never lasted.
maybe it's because i have moved so many times.
maybe it's because we grow up and grow apart.
i've never had a best friend that has lasted longer than 2 years [except for childhood]

i sometimes envy those people who all grew up going to school together, the bonds and connections they have, the memories they share.
i'm up for new memories.
but i am not ever going to be that person where someone is going through a scrapbook and points a picture and notions to their kid, "and that was my best friend."

i have friends.
i will always make new friends which means i will most likely never be alone.
i just wish i had that special friendship that some people have.
i wish i knew what it was like.

best friends for me don't last.

today i realized that at this very moment i am without a best friend.

and it's all whatever.