it's weird. before about a day ago or so i've never really thought about suicide until now. i can't stop thinking about it. not that i am CONSIDERING doing it or anything, don't take this the wrong way. it's just thinking about the word, the meaning, the emotions, the feelings behind it.
how does somebody really feel before committing suicide? i mean i am not stupid. it must not be very good. is it all a physiological thing or can anybody consider it? what if i just woke up one day and just started having these thoughts?
i can't imagine the pain people suffer through because my problems seem microscopic compared to those.
how can you tell if someone you know is having these thoughts right now as you speak? you could just be playing board games with someone, laughing and you don't even notice or stop to think what could really be going through their mind.
we as humans really don't know humans.
sorry this isn't organized. my mind is all over the place.
i had a good day today.
and this is related to the events that have happened this past few days but i am not saying this was the reason. we don't know. either way this is in my mind.
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