i owe a huge thank you to a certain group of people.

i know everyone thinks i went off to england on some grand, big adventure that was going to be life changing...but...okay let me tell the story.

(keep in mind this might sound silly but in my defense i am beyond tired.)

before i flew off i had very big expectations. i was very confident that this was going to be the best time ever. adventure by adventure taking me by storm (you folks back home know i love those adventures) but i never expected it to be scary. i was stuck in a house full of people i called family...but also a house full of people i barely ever talked to. it was horrible. i literally stayed in my room and read, barely speaking, barely doing anything for the first few days. but that changed. and not because of anything i did.

a owe a huge thank you to a certain group of people.

this past week i have had the opportunity to be surrounded by some of the coolest people i think i will ever meet. going to a new country is beyond scary but for some reason they were all nice enough to accept me into their little group. not to mention there is a boy i have developed a major crush on. there is the girl who is super friendly and wouldn't hurt a fly (not to mention she is also one of the prettiest girls ever.) the boy who is the boyfriend to the super friendly girl and who doesn't say much but is very nice and caring. the boy with the blue eyes and who always seem to have the biggest smile on. he also manages to get everyone else to smile as well. the girl who is just all around kind and accepting. the boy with the long, curly hair (who my aunt calls goldilocks) who comes off as bad-ass but seems to genuinely care. the intelligent boy who always makes witty, smart-ass comments (because he can...) and who also seems to always be helping people out. and of course, the person who deserves the biggest thanks, my cousin. he is the nicest and most caring person. i am lucky to be the same age as him and i am lucky we get along so well. he's helped me a lot. (even though he won't let me drive his car. DANG IT.)

the truth is...i did go on a trip that was life changing. i mean. i hope it continues to be life changing. being surrounded by these people has helped me immensely. not only to prepare me for college but it also broke me out of the drama department state. meaning we all know how everyone in the drama department is cliquey and not accepting. i couldn't help but think that if it was someone trying to come into my group of friends (EVEN for a few weeks) they wouldn't have been as accepting.

so i thought i'd say thank you. even though you guys will probably never read this i just thought it should be said.

The promise I just couldn't keep.

"This is the place you promised me you would never grow up."

I had totally forgotten. About 11 years ago The Swart family was taking a trip to visit the family in England. The father was looking around at all of the people, all of the goodbyes which probably caused him to say this,

"Promise me you two will never grow up?" The father said as the two young girls giggled and looked at each other.

"Dadddd." The curly haired one whined.

"We can't promise you that." The eldest daughter said as she proceeded with taking off her shoes and putting them in the security bin. The father grabbed the security bin and looked at the two girls, eyeing them. They both continued to giggle thinking it was all a big game, though 11 years later they would soon come to realize it wasn't.

"Promise me or we're not going through." He said in a joking matter. The two girls rolled their eyes anxious to go buy their snacks and watch dvd's on their father's laptop.

"Okay fine. We promise." The eldest girl said as she jumped up and grabbed the security bin.

"Yeah we promise." The curly haired girl mimicked as she scrunched up her blanket and stuck her thumb in her mouth, following the eldest sister.


Now here we were standing at the airport right before the security point where from then on I would be on my own. I bit my lip softy as I looked up at my father, tears were glistening in his eyes. He probably would have been crying if I hadn't made him promise before hand not to.

"Don't be sad. This isn't goodbye. You're going to see me in just a few weeks!" I said trying to lighten the mood though I knew it was a matter of mere seconds until I would be crying as well.

I didn't know what to say. What do you say when you know you've made a promise you couldn't keep? In my defense I was about 8 or 9 at the time so it wasn't a true promise. You know like "I promise I'll walk the dogs" or "I promise I won't get addicted" or "I promise I'm not cheating on you." So let me ask again, What do you say when you know you've made a promise you couldn't keep?