Friday, July 9, 2010

dreams v. reality.

want to hear the truth? you are scaring me. each and everyone one of you. you would think that

by being scared i would be learning. but i'm not. i am SICK of being messed with. fucked over.

is it because i let you all fuck me over? is it because of me? or do i really just have fucking bad

luck? i don't even know. everyone and their mother would agree with me when i say i've had it

bad when it comes to all of you. i don't understand what i do wrong. i keep trying different types

of people. it's not that i'm trying to play it safe. because i know it would already be dangerous.

i wasn't looking nor am not looking for anything serious. but then again i don't just want a fling.

is it bad that i just care about people? i guess my biggest problem is that i want something

different in my reality and i want something different in my dreams. i guess i have to decide

which one i will let control everything. because it's just not possible. incapability. i hate being

messed with. stop messing with me. i like the truth. want to hear my truth? here it goes.

i find you adorable. i was confused on why i suddenly developed such a random attraction for

you but i have now come to realize it isn't that crazy. you seem to really care. and i like hanging

out with you. but. i don't know what you're deal is right now. if it's me. or if it's you. that sounds

like a stereotypical B.S. answer but enlighten me with this. i could be making too big of a deal

out of this. it's not just you. it's me analyzing everything in general. so it's all of you.

if this ends smoothly. all will be well. if this ends roughly. well. i've already had that happen way to many times before because let's be honest. we both know it's going to end. but what happened to having fun? whatever. fuck me.

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