It's like this

It’s like this.

You have to have the nicest jeans or the cutest purse or say the newest thing so that it catches on. You have to be skinny, you have to buy this, wear this, say this, be on his side, her side, be neutral, be normal, be unique, have white teeth, have straight teeth, your hair can’t be frizzy, and you can’t wear that because it just doesn’t ‘work’ anymore. You have to go to parties, be friends with everyone, trust no one, post like this, smile like that, tilt your head this way, and put your hand on your hip because that’s how it is. And let me just say, fuck all of that.

here is what i am, or. kind of how i am:
a 17 year old girl who likes narnia and superman. who strives on photography. who essentially cares about what people think. who doesn't change because of it. who blushes way too much. who can't decide how the hell she wants her fucking hair. who trusts people way to easily. who develops crushes on way to many people. who can be such a drama queen. who has a lot of drama in her life at times. who doesn't get good grades but is pretty intelligent. who only puts time into things she is passionate about. who is a facebook lurk. who sleeps with a blanket. who has insane fucking dreams. who can't watch scary movies. who takes a bath everyday. who showers every other day. who likes being south african, and different. WHAT?

and now a letter.

Dear World,

Stop trying to conform me. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I don't want to be like everyone else. I do want to be liked. I do want to be loved. Does that only happen if I fit in? If so, I don't know if I want that deal. I am busy trying to figure myself out. I hate that everyone thinks we are supposed to have all our shit figured out in high school. Are you kidding me? I doubt it'll be a while till we TRULY figure ourselves out. If we ever even do...Why are you confusing me so much? I wonder how I would act if I was the only person in this world. No other people in the world to influence my decisions and actions...but then again...if i were the only one in the world would I have decisions or actions?

WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING? snap. snap. BACK TO REALITY.

whatever.

Love,
the girl with the 4 year old purple nails.