Saturday, September 5, 2009

the moment is here. [old.]

the moment I have been dreading for a few months now. The same moment I have been trying to avoid, yet at the same time embracing it with open arms. I don’t know why I keep going back. I don’t know what to expect from my emotions. At times I can handle it, but at times I just don’t know what to do and I sort of just break. Ya know?

In 3 weeks everything will be over. I get a chance to start over.
This week is going to be difficult, because not only do I have to watch my friends doing what I should be doing but I also have to film it. The negative to that is that I will have the footage in my hands and I will sometimes find myself watching it over and over again. Once again, I don’t know why I do these things. People always ask how I can handle it. The thing is I don’t think I can.

All I can do is make the best of it, smile, and just be around the people who love me. That counts for something, right?
Right now I am just going to continue doing what I have been doing. Which is trying to take my mind off the facts and just letting my imagination take over. Dance class…here I come.

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