it's just hard to believe.

i've realized the only time i blog is when i am upset, or if i am infatuated with a new boy.

at this very moment i am neither of those. i am extremely happy these days. which is a good thing.
it's hard to believe that just last year everything was so terribly wrong.

to recap:

we came back from south africa.
my mom relapsed.
she went back to rehab for a month.
i got broken up with.
my parents were sure they were going to get a divorce.
my grandfather was very sick.

nothing was normal. at all. my life was insane and everything horrible was happening all at once.

now, my parents are fine.
the only things that have been wrong these days are discussions about college and my future but those are pretty normal.

it's weird to be experiencing "normal" troubles. i mean, i know it's different at the same time, but at this time of the year all parents and kids bite each others heads off about college.

i mean. i'm ALWAYS, ALWAYS afraid my mom is going to go back again. i am terrified to take pills. even when i'm sick i try and suck it up. which is why i hate that i've been having to take tylenol every night since tuesday.

her migraines are back. which have been gone for 9 years. i just hope she doesn't use them as an excuse, you know?

sorry. everything just seems too good to be true right now.

i hope this is my year.

i really need a good year.


yay for being happy!