Monday, January 18, 2010

it's an end. welcome to my mind.

i don't think i handle things right. not that it's necessarily bad...
i guess after all that has happened i didn't get the chance to act immature.
i am selfishly unselfish.
it's not that i don't care. because i do. but a lot of my life i have never had any power. if i saw something happen then that was that. it's an end. i never thought about it.
when people say...something i never thought about the possibility that maybe, just maybe their mind could change.
but the thing is people's minds are always changing because NO ONE is ever sure about, well, anything. there is always some form of hesitation. or some form of the "what if" that may come around later after the decision has been made.

what is going through my mind right now.

i will not be taken a d v a n t a g e of.

from here on i am not letting ANYONE l i m i t myself. i am included in this as well.

i have no time to w a s t e. i don't care what anyone says. if i want something i have just as equal of a chance to get it as the rest of the world does.

people have no idea what they are doing. and if it looks like they do i can guarantee they don't but the fact that they took the leap makes it worthwhile. i want to take the l e a p. what do i have to lose?

i c a r e about what you think about me. but it doesn't mean i'm going to alter myself for your likings.

i d e s e r v e more. and honestly after this i am not coming back. and i mean it. the decision is now in your hands. i can be here for you if you just l e t m e. but if you don't then there is no way i can help.

we went through the same thing. which is why we bonded so well because we both...u n d e r s t o o d. but the difference is i know i am ready. honestly. i could have skipped the whole rebound thing. i know that isn't right but...i don't do things right. people don't believe me but i could have had a relationship. maybe not so soon. maybe not with you. but maybe with you.

but on that note i don't r e g r e t being with you. at all. i just regret the way i have l e t y o u treat me a couple times. i have been there for you...but you haven't been there for me. i w i s h. i just wish you could be. it's a two way deal.

i don't n e e d you. but i do w a n t you.

i n e e d you. but you don't w a n t me. not yet anyways. but i am sure about the possibilities with us. your eyes. we could have something beautiful.

i can never be a l o n e. maybe i should fix this before reality hits again. or maybe i should grasp on more than ever.

i feel sick.

i also feel unnoticed. i want to show the world what i've got. don't underestimate me. my time is coming...get ready to be surprised.

don't get me wrong. i don't want you to leave. at all.

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