Thursday, January 28, 2010

that's what i need.

i am very lost right now. indecisive i guess you could say. i am very confused and i am bored. with everything. and everyone. i am also sick of everyone. i want to try new things. which is why this weekend i am hoping to venture out as much as possible. just this one weekend i don't want to have to think about anything. just...let myself go. you know?

have you ever wanted to be a completely different person? now i am not saying i am not satisfied with who i am because i definitely am. i am the person i was meant to be but it just sounds exciting to be apart of something different. do something Madison would never do and prove Madison wrong. where is the harm in that? doesn't it sound exciting? and something bizarre and different? that's what i need. that's what i am craving.

i am no longer the little christian girl i was freshman year. my beliefs in christianity are still pretty solid but i am no longer afraid. or hesitant. well not enough to hold me back anymore. i have nothing to lose. it's not that i'm afraid that i'm running out of time i just...want...change.

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